Teal Moustache Welcome to my blog!

heartbreakirwin:

5 Seconds of Summer - Disconnected (Track by Track) +

Luke, “It’s like a weird thing that girls like us..”

Ashton, “We were really not attractive to girls where we live.” +


moriartymyheartsonfire:

Ed… for a 23 year old man, you sure do get pregnant a lot.


cyberuser:

cyberuser:

vvankinq:

cyberuser:

what do you call a message sent by a girl?

*sighs* what

a feMAIL

i got 7 messages saying this joke is offensive & that i’m the reason feminism exists


officialunitedstates:

"What does the chef recommend?"

"Sir, this is a mcdonalds"


i-like-butt:

"your homework still isn’t done? what have you been doing this whole time??"

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fajitastic:

'do it for the vine'

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the-winchester-initiative:

posthumous-mcdouble:

Hypothesis: if women are worse at parking, it’s only because they’ve been lied to about what eight inches is their entire lives

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therealsarahhylandWhen your mom gives you “the finger”…#donttellmewhattodo @taylorswift (x)


  • kid: dad whats a 69
  • dad: well son, a 69 is when two people who love each other very much get together with a 6 and a 9 and a 5 6 7 8 [spotlight turns on] [dad breaks into jazz number]


Taylor Swift - Leaving her apartment in NYC [04/23]